Terry Real and the New Rules of Marriage: Great is What you Deserve!

Happy smiling middle-aged couple outdoors  Terry Real in “The New Rules of Marriage” Terry says in his book that ” people may tell you what you’re looking for is unrealistic. I don’t think so. Well meaning friends and family may focus on your need to compromise. I don’t want you to. Your relationship is too important for compromise. Your work may be rewarding, your kids great, and your friends wonderful, but in the end, your bond with the person you live out your life with- the one you grow up and grow old with- is the single most important connection you will ever have. I want you to go after what it is you want-with skill and with love- and get it.”

As a therapist I want to turn your bad relationship into a good one, and a good relationship into a great one. How do you get one like this? You build it day by day with thoughtfulness and skill. I teach these skills. It is truly my passion at this point in my career.

Read his book, see a therapist trained in relational methods, give yourselves this chance to have the relationship of a lifetime!

How to improve your marriage without talking about it

This book by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny is my favourite book to recommend to couples who are struggling with their relationship. These authors studied the dynamics between men and women and discovered that, even with the best intentions, talking about your relationship doesn’t bring you closer together, and eventually it will drive you apart. Getting your marriage to improve doesn’t involve trying to turn your man into a woman! This book gives guidance about the behaviours that make and break marriages.

A good marital therapist knows this. Most couples have a limited understanding about how communication patterns can negatively affect a marriage while positive communication can act as a giant booster! Less communication and more emotional atunement can be more effective at bridging differences and bringing a couple closer than anything at all. There are valid sex differences in the way that men and women hear things. This book talks about why we fight, what each hears no matter what is said. It talks about the things you can do to make things better.

I recommend this book to lots of my clients and I find that they love it and with the combination of reading it and working with me in the therapy room their marriage improves tremendously!